Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: blogging, getting down to business, tumblr
Because I’ve been really busy. I’m back home in Oregon and have already completed my first term at the community college here and am into the third week of my second term. I have entered into my first relationship in two years with a man of a very similar name (first name, that is, not last; who do you think I am?!), reconnected with old and made great new friends, and just recently gained employment at a local coffee shop in March.
I just turned 19 on the 8th of this month and went to Lincoln City and Newport Beach for the weekend.
That’s my super quick life update for the few who continue to check in. As far as the internet, what am I doing now?
TUMBLR
I know, I know, how trendy. But I really wanted something that allowed for more interaction not only with friends but also anyone who happened to read since everyone has a Tumblr account. I’ve been so busy that I haven’t really had time to properly blog and I don’t foresee my load lightening anytime in the near future. Tumblr is more snippet and random thought friendly without being as limiting as Twitter (which I have, btw).
So, go follow me on Tumblr? Let’s get social (:
Like this:
Filed under: This Is Pointless | Tags: advertising, American Apparel, cute hair, how to get laid, Old Spice, Suicide Girls
Apparently Old Spice will all but do you itself:
Reagan has the cutest hair ever, and I have a message for American Apparel:
Dear American Apparel,
You should launch an ad campaign using Suicide Girls. I think you would find this method would even further improve your business, and they are fun, unlike the majority of girls that are featured in your lifeless photos currently.
Sincerely,
Dacoda.
… Is saying ‘Sincerely, Dacoda.’ required again to close this post? I vote no.
Filed under: This Is Pointless | Tags: bullshit, entertainment, I hate Adam Lambert, issues, music, sex addiction, wtf, you rage you lose
I seriously thought this was a joke. And then I found out that this song is currently number one on the charts. What the fuck is wrong with America? My heroes eat shits like this for a pre-breakfast snack.
I’d rather hear about Tiger Woods’ and Jesse James’ perils with their made-up sex addictions than hear this song or see Adam Lambert’s face ever again.
Help build a better tomorrow, take down Adam Lambert today.
Sincerely,
Dacoda.
Filed under: This Is Pointless | Tags: advice, astrology, confidence, decision, faith, life, magic 8 ball, reassurance, tarot
“He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches.” – George Bernard Shaw
My entire life, I have been a trusted confidante for more than a handful of friends, and not only people with whom I have been close with. In my brain there are secrets upon secrets that have been entrusted to me by so many, and I do take some pride in saying that I keep them, each and every one.
With that sort of trust and confidence in me, I have also become a prime source of advice for the people I know. I don’t know how or why, but in several cases I’m the first one to be sought out when an issue rises. I always suggest taking the logical route and weighing the pros and cons of a pending decision, whether instant gratification is worth the eventual fall out, etc etc.
I am a hypocrite.
I don’t take my own advice. I can’t remember the last decision I actually thought about. I rely heavily on my intuition and instincts. If I get the notion that I should do something, I do it, because I wouldn’t feel the need if I were supposed to write it off as nothing, right? Yet I wouldn’t advise anyone to follow my example. In short, I don’t trust people to be as perceptive as I am. Like a dear friend of mine, who we’ll call John. John makes really stupid decisions, John is impulsive, and John unknowingly craves abuse and drama in relationships. I would tell him to deny every gut feeling he has, because it’s shit and will only do him harm. I trust myself more than anyone I know. I am my own best friend.
The rare times when I ‘seek’ advice, I already know the solution. The only reason I ask is to get confirmation that it’s what I should do. If you tell me something different, I might consider it, but probably not. I already know what I’m going to do, and there’s a 50% chance that I’ve already done it. As intuitive as I am, I still always second guess myself.
Even with simple things. Like, do you want to watch Inglourious Basterds or She’s The Man? I know what I want to watch, but I’ll wait for you to put them both behind your back and ask me ‘Right or Left?’ Then I’ll choose (probably left), and (considering if it’s the one I wanted) I will exclaim my pleasure over that one being chosen. I like to see if the gods are on my side (:
If it’s a big decision, like one I was faced with today, I’ll consult the craziest things. I can’t just trust anyone with important things, sometimes no one at all. In these instances I resort to three main things, in this order: A Magic 8 Ball, my horoscope (I’m an Aries), and Tarot cards.
In a sane world, those should be the things I stay away from when making a big decision. I embrace them. Okay, so I usually disregard the Magic 8 Ball if it doesn’t tell me what I want to hear, and I know that horoscopes are so broadly written that they could apply to anyone at anytime, and the Tarot are just cards. I don’t have religion, so let me have my comforts.
I think that whatever gives you confidence should be embraced. Unless you’re an alcoholic.
What do you do for reassurance?
Keep your fingers crossed for me,
Dacoda.
Filed under: Lists, This Is Pointless | Tags: "I just get along better with guys", annoyances, blogging don't, blonde hair on black people, clear Kool-Aid, hipsters, I don't care about your feelings, I don't even know you, NSFW, slutty girls, so indie it hurts, things I hate, ur so gay, whiny blogs
No, I’m not in a particularly angry mood right now, I’m actually fizzy, fuzzy, and fine, though without carbonation and hairiness. I hate some things just like everyone else. Sometimes I have perfectly good and logical reasons behind why I do, other times I probably sound like a total crackhead. So here is my list of 5 things I hate, along with how to get over or around them.
1. Girls With No Girl-Friends
“I just get along better with guys.” Sweetie, that’s because you’re a slut. Unless the girl is a butch lesbian or a balls to the wall tomboy with a baseball bat over her shoulder, she’s up to no good. It’s not that a girl can’t be good friends with guys, lord knows I have a ton of great guy friends myself, but she should have at least a couple close gal pals.
If you can’t tell this is a red flag, I can’t help you.
Solution: Is your boyfriend friends with a girl who fits the warning? Talk to him about it and voice your concerns. Let him know that you do trust him, but she just makes you uncomfortable. If he’s any sort of a decent guy he’ll understand.Never talk to her about it. If you confront her it will only make your relationship seem weak and easily breakable, the perfect motive for her to strike.
2. Clear Beverages That Aren’t Water
I hate invisible Kool-Aid. That shit is the most annoying drink under the sun. I tried it out once when it first came out, and yeah, the flavor was nice and sugary and fruity and refreshing, but you know what happens when you leave your glass unattended for 10 minutes or so? In this case, it isn’t roofies (at least, I hope that wasn’t your clear Kool-Aid experience). You forget about it. You pick up your glass, totally psyched for some truly refreshing water, and WA-BAM! it’s a sugar rush. As your spitting and choking and cursing the gods of Kool-Aid, you swear to never let this trickster into your refrigerator again.
Capri Sun is still cool. Thank you for containing your clearness inside a shiny silver pouch (:
Solution: It’s really simple. Don’t drink it. Guess what? They make regular colored kiwi-watermelon Kool-Aid. Never, ever trust clear flavored beverages. Even Sprite can be tricky, and that’s carbonated.
3. Music/Book/Movie/etc. Snobs (Especially When They Have No Idea What They’re Talking About) (a.k.a. ‘Hipsters’)
I get it, you’re so indie it hurts. That screened tee your wearing advertising that band you loved way before anyone ever heard of them is so cool, and you must be interesting because you watch obscure films with subtitles that win awards at European festivals whose names we can’t pronounce. You wouldn’t touch anything considered less than ‘refined’ with a ten-foot pole and look down on those with the dirty Jay-Z* pleasure and who can’t help but bust up laughing over The Hangover*. And that is why everyone hates you.
Katy Perry understands.
Solution: Don’t be intimidated by these folks. By being so ‘unique’ they’ve made up an entire sub-culture of people who are very much the same. Don’t be ashamed because you like Lady Gaga* or Drake, and guess what, Hot Rod* was fucking hilarious. How cool are hipsters when all is said and done? Answer: Not very. The real solution to the Anti-Hipster equation: Call them out on their bullshit, they’ll throw on their Ray Bans* and run away crying. That means you won.
4. Blonde Hair On Tan People
That’s pretty self-explanatory, and if you don’t know why it’s terrible you’re probably one of those people who don’t have to use sunscreen and need to touch up their roots once a week. You know who you are…
(Also, unless you have amazing bone structure, don’t go blonde, much less platinum blonde, if you have dark eyebrows*. You will look like a fool.)
But then again, being classy has never been a top priority for her…
Solution: First, don’t do it, simple as that. Second, help friends of yours who have done it. Be honest, tell them it looks like shit, and go with them to pick up a box of hair dye to cover up that monstrosity.
5. Whiny Blogs
I don’t come to the internet to listen to people’s problems. I don’t google ‘sappy emo ranting about life.’ You know why? Because I don’t give a fuck. And guess what? Neither does any one else. If you’re going through a rough time, talk to a friend or a family member. If the going is tough because you don’t have friends or family, write to Dear Abby or go meet people like a normal person. If you want to kill yourself, find a therapist. The internet is not your friend, always remember that.
I wonder if he’s ever seen this.
Solution: If your friends are guilty of this blogging no-no, comment one of their posts saying “Hey, don’t you think this is a little too personal to add to the blogoshpere? If you need to talk, I’m always here” and then when you sit down and chat, help her to delete those sappy posts as step one to recovery and help save the rest of the internet as well. Congratulations, you’ve killed two birds with one stone without seeming like an ass. Being nice isn’t your style? Comment someone’s blog and tell them that writing about their woes and desperation is, well, desperate. They’ll be angry and probably reply with some hate speech, but it will get them thinking about what they’re writing about. Let’s face it; the only people who will lovingly respond to posts like these would be the friends you should have talked to about it in the first place or some creepy fat old man who will follow your blog as closely as he follows his team in Left4Dead*.
* = I love Jay-Z, The Hangover, Lady Gaga, Hot Rod, Ray Bans, and Left4Dead. I did go blonde once, and I never will again. Just so we’re clear on all that (:
No worries, I (probably) don’t hate you,
Dacoda.
Like this:
Filed under: This Is Pointless | Tags: celebrities, Dennis Quaid, Hollywood, Lindsay Lohan, look alikes, Mean Girls, The Parent Trap, Unforgivable
But it really is uncanny just how much Lindsay Lohan and Dennis Quaid look alike:
You know that last still of her face in Mean Girls?
Yeah? Totally obvious right?
No? Go watch it fo’ free on ch131.com
If you’re a Dennis Quaid fan, I’m sorry if this offends you. If you’re a Lindsay Lohan fan, well… I don’t really give a shit.
I love how her acting steadily got worse after The Parent Trap. I will always love that and Life Size though, always.
FO’ FREE!
Dacoda.
Filed under: This Is Pointless | Tags: 2012, apocalypse, conversations, crazy shit that could totally happen, facebook, IM, serial killers, Stockholm sydrome, zombiism
I heart Jessica.
Via Facebook IM, moments ago.
Jessica
Yeah seriously.
I could see [Name removed to protect the innocent, meaning Jessica and myself, because seriously, dude is a creeper] being the perfect example of a future serial killer.
Me
Me too. He’d be the kind that kidnaps the girl, puts her in a wedding dress in an underground room, wait until Stockholm syndrome kicks in, morph her into the perfect 1960′s housewife, and then brutally murder her after she burns the toast or some shit. Then move to a new location and do it all over again.
Jessica
HOLY SHIT. 0_0
That’s dead on.
Me
I’ve come to peace with it, just because this is most likely how his future will actually pan out. Since we’re enlightened, we can prepare and prevent.
Jessica
Yes, maybe he’ll be savagely eaten by zombies during the apocalypse that the Aztecs foresaw happening in 2012.
Me
Unfortunately, he is surprisingly well-educated in zombiism. But that’s irrelevant. He’ll probably take a sledgehammer to the face in some brutal full scale riot.
Jessica
Oh that made me giggle.
Boo, hiss, and all that jazz;
I still stand by word,
Dacoda.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: American Film Institute, Bogie, Casablanca, Committee For The First Amendment, Fall Out Boy, Here's looking at you kid, Hollywood, House Un-American Activities Committee, Humphrey Bogart, Lauren Bacall, McCarthyism, Of All The Gin Joints In This World, Panic At The Disco, quotes, Sabrina
Did you know that I absolutely adore Humphrey Bogart?
He was so classic and sarcastic, always making people around him a little uneasy because they couldn’t quite figure out his humor, but he was ever so loved by his nearest and dearest.
He married Lauren Bacall, one of the most power-demanding women in the industry, created the Committee For The First Amendment during the days of the House Un-American Activities Committee’s rampant accusations of several key screenwriters and actors in Hollywood, and had drunken conversations with pandas. Seriously.
Bogie holds the record for having the most entries included in the American Film Institute’s Top 100 Quotations in American Cinema (five), four being from Casablanca. You know the ridiculously pointless long song title trend of a few years back? And how bands like Fall Out Boy and Panic At The Disco excelled at it? Perhaps a few may recall FOB’s “Of All The Gin Joints In This World.” A certain Monsieur Bogart is to thank for that gem.
A couple of my favorite Bogie quotes:
“But I’ve got a job to do, too. Where I’m going, you can’t follow. What I’ve got to do, you can’t be any part of. Ilsa, I’m no good at being noble, but it doesn’t take much to see that the problems of three little people don’t amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. Someday you’ll understand that. Now, now… Here’s looking at you kid.” – Casablanca
From his sad-looking eyes to his bountiful wit to his awkward little scar, Bogie is a gentleman I would have loved to have him in my company back in the day. You know, if I had lived back in the day.
“I came out here with one suit and everybody said I looked like a bum. Twenty years later Marlon Brando came out with only a sweatshirt and the town drooled over him. That shows how much Hollywood has progressed.” – Humphrey Bogart
Go watch Casablanca and Sabrina and fall in love with this man, it did the trick for me.
Here’s looking at you, kid,
Dacoda.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Chuck Palahniuk, Esprit d'Escalier, Haunted, literature, novels, Oregonian, phrases, reading, Spirit of the Stairway, writing
I’m posting this more for my own future reference than anything else. I’m not sure if I’ve made mention of this before, but Chuck Palahniuk is one of my favorite authors. But then again, I’m living in modern times and I am also an Oregonian; how many of us aren’t fans of Palahniuk? Couple that with the cult-following of Fight Club and you’re most likely living under a rock if you don’t recognize his name.
My favorite novel of his would have to be (at this moment in time) Haunted. The entire thing is a beautiful work of words, in the way it magnifies the less desirable aspects of humanity today and how fixated we can become on the things that we let haunt us. We all have scars on our souls from things you could only understand if it happened to you. We all have our little obsessions that when left unchecked run rampant and consume us entirely.
I can never choose just one singular favorite short story from the book. I think I have it, but then I remember the story of another character, decide upon that one, but then recall a different account. Why the need to have a favorite? I just choose to love the entire book instead.
One of the many pieces of the novel that sticks out in my memory is in the short story “Guts” written by the character Saint Gut-Free:
People in France have a phrase: “Spirit of the Stairway”. In French: Esprit d’Escalier. It means that moment when you find the answer, but it’s too late. Say you’re at a party and someone insults you. You have to say something. So under pressure, with everybody watching, you say something lame. But the moment you leave the party?
As you start down the stairway, then – magic. You come up with the perfect thing you should’ve said. The perfect crippling put-down.
That’s the Spirit of the Stairway.
The trouble is, even the French don’t have a phrase for the stupid things you actually do say under pressure. Those stupid, desperate things you actually think or do.
The Spirit of the Stairway is one of the most biting common occurrences, and it’s experienced so often. I don’t know about yourself but knowing that there is a phrase for it, that it is named and therefore a widespread phenomenon, is a comfort in itself. No matter how shitty you feel, there is someone, somewhere, that has felt so much the same.
We are never alone in our loneliness,
Dacoda.
p.s.
If you’ve read Haunted, tell me some of the moments of it that stuck out to you, stories, characters, anything. If you haven’t, read it, and we could pick apart each others’ brains (:
